The first half of 2013 was wrought with difficulty with our precious Pineapple. He was finally comfortable enough within the confines of our family to really let loose with the grief, pain, suffering, overall trauma he's suffered in his short life. He tested limits and had more meltdowns than I could ever possibly count. His behaviors were completely manic - sweet and loving one minute and in a complete, raging meltdown the next. I am beyond thankful to report that he has only had one such raging meltdown in the last six months...and it was just this week with the overwhelming nature of the Christmas holiday. You see, Christmas Eve is when Pineapple and Mango first arrived in the USA. The holiday, while joyous, is filled with fear, grief, anxiety & stress for our littlest loves. That one incident aside, he has made miraculous strides in his attachment and behavior the last six months or so. We are so blessed to have weathered the storm and survived with a stronger, more confident boy by our side.
Another major event this year was the transition of Papaya, Pineapple & Mango into the public schools after two years of being educated at home. This has not been a smooth transition at all...but it was one we felt needed to be made. Whether we'll continue with public school education for them next year or not has yet to be determined. Kiwi has no desire to return to that environment, and we won't force her. It was traumatic for her when she was there. She loves being homeschooled and I love having her home.
When I look back on the year, a midst the hard times, there are some beautiful highlights - the kids improving in swim lessons, relationships blossoming, each child coming a little closer to finding their unique childhood passion (watching Papaya take the court in her first basketball game was priceless)...but there are two events that stand out among all the others:
The first, is that Kiwi made a decision for Christ and chose to be baptized. There is no greater joy than to witness your child give over their life in that way (and this mama sobbed like a baby trying to read Kiwi's testimony in front of our entire church that morning).
The second was a very unexpected, but remarkable blessing. It was the surprise addition of our eldest son, Starfruit, who entered our home for the first time just two weeks ago! We learned about him and his situation right before Thanksgiving. We prayed and sought wise counsel over the holiday weekend and on Monday, December 2, we committed to adding him to our family. The following Monday we were on the road and Tuesday afternoon, December 10, we took custody of the incredibly handsome young man who is now our son! We were able to bring him home the following Monday, December 16. It was a whirlwind that we're all still recovering from. He has acclimated so well to our family that there is no denying divine intervention. The situation that led him to our family is his alone to tell, so please do not ask me and do not ask him until he's an adult and can process it all himself first. Thank you for respecting that privacy.
The first, is that Kiwi made a decision for Christ and chose to be baptized. There is no greater joy than to witness your child give over their life in that way (and this mama sobbed like a baby trying to read Kiwi's testimony in front of our entire church that morning).
The second was a very unexpected, but remarkable blessing. It was the surprise addition of our eldest son, Starfruit, who entered our home for the first time just two weeks ago! We learned about him and his situation right before Thanksgiving. We prayed and sought wise counsel over the holiday weekend and on Monday, December 2, we committed to adding him to our family. The following Monday we were on the road and Tuesday afternoon, December 10, we took custody of the incredibly handsome young man who is now our son! We were able to bring him home the following Monday, December 16. It was a whirlwind that we're all still recovering from. He has acclimated so well to our family that there is no denying divine intervention. The situation that led him to our family is his alone to tell, so please do not ask me and do not ask him until he's an adult and can process it all himself first. Thank you for respecting that privacy.
So as you can see, while our year hasn't been all rainbows & unicorns, it's been full. It's been blessed. It's one we'll certainly never forget!
So as happy as I am to kiss 2013 good bye forever, I do so with thanksgiving and praise that God has given me this road to travel. Without the loss of our girls, we wouldn't have our son. Without my health battles, who knows what blessings we may have missed. Without the agonizing struggles with Pineapple, we wouldn't have the full appreciation for how far he's come in his two years in our family. So as I reflect tonight, I'll choose to see the positive. I'll choose to find good in the hardest of times, because that is where I will meet my Savior...in the midst of those hard times when I needed Him most...He carried me through.
I don't make New Year's resolutions. Never have. This year, however, I do have a goal. My goal this year is simple in word, but not in action. My goal is to be better.
A better wife.
A better mother.
A better friend.
A better servant.
A better leader.
A better advocate.
A better disciple.
A better example of Christ to those I encounter every single day.
My goal is not to be perfect (Hello- not even possible!) or to cross some arbitrary line in the sand of where that improvement is. No, my goal is not tangible...which is what makes it so difficult. The progress I make will not be able to be determined by me. I will not be able to measure or mark my achievements off on a calendar or scale. No, instead I must trust that my efforts are being well received and that God and my family will be pleased with my better...whatever that looks like.
So there you have it. GOOD BYE 2013! HELLO 2014!! Here's hoping for BETTER!
Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way, prosperity will come to you. ~Job 22:21
